To Staying Strong
by Aerivia
Summary: Elena's parents never wanted her daughter to meet a vampire. They had her on vervain from a young age. At the bonfire before the accident that took her parents lives, she met a handsome young man that left her wanting to know him. She doesn't seem him again until she befriends his brother, Stefan. Slight A/U.
1. Prologue

So, this is an A/U story where Elena's parents had been giving her vervain her whole life. This means that after the accident when she met Damon... she remembers the stranger who had approached her. ENJOY! And the one part from her journal entry is from Season 3 Episode 22 when Damon is having a flashback to when he did meet Elena first.

* * *

_May 29th, 2009_

_It's been six days. I never wanted to look at you again. My mother was the one who first bought me a journal. She was the one who made me even consider a career in writing. I was tempted to detach myself, to never let myself write again, but I can make my own choices. My mother inspired me and I won't stop. I'll continue doing what I love so I can live on as if she's there to help guide me along._

_I don't feel like I have a right to still have them here. If I hadn't been stupid and gone to that bonfire... We wouldn't have been driving down Wickery Bridge! We instead would've been sitting inside, playing games with Aunt Jenna and enjoying everything that we had. We all would have been happy._

_Then before all that. Damon. _

"_I don't know what I want." I said._

"_That's not true, you want what everybody wants," he answered, "You want a love that consumes you. You want passion, and adventure, and even a little danger."_

_I still remember that conversation clearly. Even with all that's happened, I can't shake the way he looked at me, the way he called me Katherine. Why? I guess I'll never know. I'll never know why we drove off that bridge. Why I was the one to survive and they had to die. I'll never know why I chose to blow them off in the first place._

_-Elena_

"ELENA!" Jenna called upstairs, "I need to know if you're going to school today."

School. Today is Thursday, the middle of the week. Yesterday we buried my parents. Yesterday I said goodbye to them. I wanted to beg for their forgiveness but I know that the already gave me it. I just didn't want to accept it as it meant that they were really gone. My heart aches when I think of them. I need to keep going. I need to continue doing everything I can to keep living. I need to live for both of them as well.

I walk over to the mirror. I will go to school. I will stand tall and proud. I'll be the woman my parents raised me to be, the one I wish they were here to see. My reflection suddenly doesn't look so sullen. It still won't smile and it's eyes are rimmed with red, proof that I've been crying, but I know I'll keep my promise. I'll be strong and live for the three of us.

When I go down stairs with my backpack over my shoulder, Jenna gives me a small smile.

"I'll be here if you need to come home." she says to me, her voice soft.

I try to smile but I imagine it's more a grimace, "Thanks, for everything. I know it's hard to leave behind your whole life to take care of your sisters kids- teenagers at that- so unexpectedly."

She gives me a hug and I know that even though life is broken right now, it will scab over, then leave a scar that will fade in time. Even though it may never leave, I will still live and should cherish that gift.


	2. One Tequila, Two Tequila

**Thanks to all who have read this story! I know the prologue was short... It was really just to show that she has made a promise to live life how they wanted her to. She is off the vervain now since her aunt didn't know about the whole supernatural bit. Now, enjoy!**

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"Come. On. Elena." Caroline complains, "This party THE end of the year party. You have to go! It's been a month and you know your parents would want you to have fun."

The ache returns to where my heart is supposed to be. Caroline may be right about needing to move on, but I can't hide the overwhelming fury I feel over how she's telling me to get over my parents death. The one caused by me "needing" to go to a party. I've been trying hard all month to live my life. If anything, I've been living more than I was before. I've been doing more. Caroline has kept me occupied, dragging me along to all her community events. I've been putting hundred and ten percent into my cheer leading, even keeping up my straight A's.

Jeremy, however, has not been so lucky. We mostly turn a blind eye to his actions but it's starting to take it's toll.

"Elena, are you even listening to me?"

"Uh, I'm sorry?"

"I was saying that even Bonnie is going. It'd be horrible if you didn't show, you'd miss out on the show." She says flabbergasted.

"Show?" I ask. What could possibly be going on?

"Well, summer is just around the corner and you know what that means!"

"Slutty Sarah..." Bonnie says.

"Like I need to see her break another poor boys heart. She just loves to make a huge public scene then starts to dance a little too closely to just about every guy in the room. I've seen the show a million and one times." I say, slightly annoyed. Right after Matt and I broke up... she was all over him. He was too depressed to do anything with her but still, single doesn't mean a new toy.

"I know you're still upset over last time, but I promise that you'll enjoy this." Caroline says.

"I heard that new kid, Stefan Salvatore- the one who showed up a few weeks ago? He's going to be there. We all saw how you were eying him. Then again, so has just about every girl in the entire school.." Bonnie says.

"Well, I would call dibs but... Elena, if you go to this party, he's all yours!"

I stare at Caroline. Did she really just give up a boy for a party? "Do I have to pretend to enjoy it?"

"Well, if you get a few drinks into you and start talking to him... I imagine you'll be having a good time by then."

"Caroline." Bonnie warns before turning to me, "It just might help to get you back into your old life, not this one full of distractions."

I giggle at Caroline's expression, she's pouting as if it'll work.

"Fine, I'll go. But if I want to leave, I can leave without being tied to a chair and having so much alcohol poured down my throat that I won't even remember thinking about leaving..."

Caroline and Bonnie both smile. "Deal." They say in unison.

* * *

Despite the bodies, the fire, and the fact that it's June, my body feels like it's roasting on a spit. I head over to a cooler, not even sure who's it is, and grab out a fruity drink. Not beer, but still alcohol. I drink it down in a few minutes and sit on a fallen tree just on the outside of the party. If Tyler Lockwood is good at one thing, it's throwing a party. I see Sarah over dancing with two different boys. I think about when we were both little. She used to be a sweet little thing, always putting everyone before herself. Unfortunately, that all changed when her boyfriend of little over a year cheated on her. I'm pretty sure she does all this just to get back at him, even though he moved away a couple months back.

I close my eyes. Just a year ago, life was so simple. Now, Caroline is over talking to Matt, trying to convince him that I just didn't want a relationship. In truth, I'm not entirely sure I really loved him. Not romantically at least. Bonnie is off somewhere, slamming back smoothies with another girl. It's funny how this reminds me so much as the last party. We all come together, then go separate ways. I know everyone here so if I wanted to I could strike a conversation with someone and not be sulking alone in a corner.

But that's not me anymore.

I reopen my eyes to see the deal breaker standing in front of me holding out a beer. I accept it an turn my attention back to the party as he sits down beside me.

"So why is the famous Elena Gilbert sitting in the back of the party instead of being at the center, all eyes on her?" he asks.

"I could ask the same thing of you, Stefen Salvatore."

He lets out a low chuckle. I turn to face him, stunned for a second by the beauty of his face. His eyes are perfectly shaped and his nose- which I thought large at first- is actually reasonably proportioned for his long face. His lips... they look as if they were sculpted by god himself.

"Well, when you see a girl all alone and looking like she's ready to run away from everything, you grab some tequila and all the works in attempts to get her enjoy herself."

"Well, if we're going shots..." I say, a small smile lighting up my face, "I want to say something with mine."

"Whatever you want." Pouring the shots and handing me some lemon.

"Y'know I never thought I'd be able to return to my life."

He just looks at me and passes me the salt.

"But yet, here I am, living and breathing and wishing nothing different."

I lick my hand and sprinkle it with salt.

"To being strong!" I say taking my shot.

"To living against all odds." he replies, taking his own.

In a way, I guess I was supposed to die that night. I still have no idea how I got out of that car, but I know that I truly am living against all odds.

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**Well, I was encouraged by the follows and the review I got so I updated already. **

**And to Sissymac, I really do hope that this story ends up being a good one! **

**And while it was short, I'm just trying to get it moving. So, hopefully, as the story progresses that chapters will become longer.**


	3. Oh, Jeremy

**Wow, just want to say thanks for everyone reading this story! I had another account a while back and none of my stories under any category had gotten this great of a response. I went 7 whole chapters once with no favorites, follows, reviews or anything so I didn't know what I needed to do to fix it. SO THANKS A MILLION! And I have a question, Bonnie's not one of the founding families, is she? Katherine Pierce and Emily Bennet came after I do believe but I'm not 100% positive.**

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Sunlight flitted through my bedroom window.

_One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, FLOOR._

With the way my head is pounding and my body being "blah"... I think I finished the rhyme. I stretch, feeling an ache in almost every single one of my muscles. I pick up my journal. Even though last night was a blur, I still want to write about it. I want to make it true.

_Dear Diary,_

_Last night, I went to my first party since the accident. Needless to say I wasn't very happy so I had sat around the outskirts of the party. I was trying to enjoy myself. Bonnie and Caroline were off doing who knows what with who knows who. At one point I completely blocked out the party, remembering back when I was younger and didn't have much to care about. When I opened my eyes it was none other than Stefan Salvatore in front of me._

_Now, considering the fact that he's acted too cool for anyone this whole time he's been here, I was mildly surprised. And that man is even more gorgeous up close, can't believe we're in the same year. Anyway, after he passed me a drink I admired him for a second, not knowing his plan was to get me drunk._

"_To living against all odds."_

_He got me thinking again. I was supposed to die in that car. I am alive, but why? Is it because I never got what I wanted? Damon. He's the one who filled my head with all these thoughts. That what I want is love. One that's consuming, passionate, and even a little bit dangerous. Either way, my alarm says it's one in the afternoon and the founder's party is tonight, so I'll have to reminisce about this later._

_-Elena_

I close the journal. Caroline and Bonnie are supposed to be here shortly so we can get ready.I sigh, standing up to head towards the bathroom I share with Jeremy. He's already gone with his friends by now and Jenna offered to help set up the park so I have the whole house to myself. MUSIC TIME! If anything can cure my aching body and a headache it's dancing and coffee!

I run back into my bedroom the minute I finish brushing my teeth and blast the stereo. I let the deep bass and steady beat flood through my room. I'm not even aware which CD is playing, let alone which song. Instead I just dance around, cleaning up my room and starting some laundry. I'm mindlessly singing along to the chorus while making some coffee when Caroline lets herself in. She starts dancing around with me, grabbing two mugs before turning the music off.

"Hey!" I say in an unconvincing protest. Laughter does not make you seem serious.

"What's got you in such a good mood today?" Caroline asks.

"Well, last night I ended up drunk with Stefen Salvatore... I'm pretty sure that's enough to put any girl in a good mood."

"YOU WHAT?! Give me all the details, and if I learn you're leaving anything out I will personally throw you down to the bottom of the food chain."

"Well, be prepared to throw me because I don't remember much. Where's Bonnie?" I ask noticing that our other guest has not appeared.

"Since she's not one of the founding families, her dad doesn't think that she has to go so her dragged her with him to go visit some family down south." Caroline replies nonchalantly, "And how can you not remember much? You shouldn't be able to forget a single thing about Stefen freaking Salvatore."

"Well, when he spends the night feeding you tequila, you'll only remember a few of the things he says to you. Or, maybe only one."

"Get on with it, what did he say?" I guess people do literally sit on the edge of their seats in anticipation...

"He said 'To living against all odds' as a reply to a toast I had made."

"Why we're you making toast?" says Caroline, disbelief on her face.

I hold up a finger, "Wait for it."

"OH! Blonde moment!" she says giggling.

I join in her laughter, happy to be friends with a person who couldn't not be positive for a single moment in her life!

"So, on a more serious note, what are we going to do with that mop on your head that you call hair?" she demands as I subconsciously try to pat it down. I only just woke up.

* * *

I run my fingers through my hair one last time before walking up the steps. I feel my left foot wobble a bit but I ignore it. I only started wearing heels a few months back and I still haven't grown use to walking in them. As I enter the building I realize that's I'm quite overdressed even though I'm in small black heels, a jean skirt, and a purple blouse. Many people look like they just got off work. I wrinkle my nose. Some of them sure do smell the part.

Caroline has already moved through the crowd, trying to find anyone to socialize with. I move over towards a far corner but decide against it when I see Matt there. We haven't really talked since the bonfire. He said his apologies that everyone seems to say but I know that there's some thoughts in my mind that would make me want to throw him off the bridge. If he hadn't insisted that I go to the party, if we didn't have that fight... I would never of been in that car.

I also wouldn't be as mentally strong though.

I take a water bottle out of the pail near the door and head out back. It's warm so I doubt the guests will be out there, away from the air conditioning. Unfortunately, I was wrong. There on the deck was Stefen Salvatore. He turns around just as I was about to turn around and walk away.

"Sorry, I was just going to leave. There's just no place that isn't completely crowded in there." he says, a faint smile playing at his lips.

"No, don't leave because of me. Actually, I wanted to know if I did anything I should be regretting last night."

"Hmm... would telling me that I'm your new bestest friend in the whole wide world just for giving you tequila count as something you'll regret?"

I pause, pretending to think it over. "Nope, would you regret being my new bestest friend in the whole wide world, Mr. Salvatore?"

"Not at all, Ms. Elena."

"Gilbert. Elena Gilbert." I correct automatically.

"Well, If I can excuse myself, I need to find my brother."

I move out of his way and look out at the lake on the far side of the Lightwood property. It reflects the afternoon sun nicely and the water is so still it looks like a mirror. I stay there, my mind clear, hypnotized by the water until I see Jeremy, running off into the woods with a bunch of his newly acquired "friends". Time to crash a party.

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**Sissymac, well, I always wanted Klaus and Caroline to be together, as well as Delena. I think we'll get along just fine.**

**And to CharlSmith I hope you continue to like it!**

**Anyway, drop a review if you liked/disliked something and I hope that you don't kill me for changing Elena a bit in this chapter. I imagine her hungover is like her drunk if she spent the night drinking with a gorgeous man!**


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